Thoughts: My First Gay Heartbreak

I remember seeing him the first time waiting to be seated at the restaurant. I remember sitting across from his table every night that week. He was older. He was handsome. He was definitely gay. We never said a word to each other. We just stared at each other. After that week long cruise, I never saw him again; but I had the musical memories that would last a life time.dido.jpg

Dido’s Life For Rent, and Michelle Branch’s Hotel Paper were both released in 2003 and were both successes in their own right. They were both artist’s sophomore albums and both dealt with heartache. Dido’s was the end of a engagement, Michelle’s was the end of a relationship. That week, those two albums were on my radar, and those two albums consumed my summer of 2004.

Dido’s Life For Rent is an amazing album through and through. Most people label her as elevator/background music; but this album is an enjoyable listen that takes you on a sonic journey. Is it easy listening? Perhaps. However, it’s remained one of the best selling British albums in BPIs history, and has sold over 2,000,000 in America alone. The singles included the massive hit White Flag, and follow-up singles Life For Rent, Don’t Leave Home and Sand in my Shoes.


Michelle’s album was a sonic departure of sorts when compared to her bright-eyed and upbeat first album. Hotel Paper was much more “mature” in sound. More pensive in nature, and much more successful out of the gate. It debuted at number 2 selling over 150,000 copies in the US alone. It eventually sold 1.1 million copies in America, but only had one successful single, Are You Happy Now. Breathe could’ve been much more than it was, but Maverick, her record label, was in the midst of a fold and she fell victim.

Both albums allowed me to process the longing of wanting to be with someone that you could never have. He was the first boy I was self-aware about. These albums bring back memories of past relationships that ended, or never happened, such as in the original scenario.

Are there any albums that remind you of your first “love” or, in my case, the first-awareness of emotion in a loving capacity outside family and friends? Discuss below. 

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