Dear Mariah…




Let’s talk. We all know you’re one of the best selling artists of all time. We all know you’ve had 18 number one hit singles. We all know you still hold the record for the longest running number one single (One Sweet Day) in America. We get it. You really did it up and did it right.

2016 was an interesting year for you. Seemingly, things were looking up. Your live performances were fairing much better. You were selling out shows at your residency in Las Vegas. You toured in England and earned solid reviews. Lionel Richie invited you out on tour in 2017. You debuted your “docu-seires” Mariah’s World on E!  You were on your way.

2016 was supposed to end well for you. You had the headlining spot on the Rockin’ NYE with Ryan Seacrest. The world (perhaps just America, because no one really cares about us anymore) was watching. Things got weird. It was harder than watching you on TRL that one time when you were having your break(break)down (that being said mental illness is not a joke). It was a special occasion, but you literally decided to not show up.

The first CD I ever had was the CD Single of Hero. I have all your albums and really thought Me. I Am Mariah was a great album (it truly was slept on – because you released all the wrong singles). I really believed in you through the Glitter debacle. I bought a surgeon I work with the movie on Amazon Prime and defended it’s purity to the core. I enjoy you so much that last night I had friends texting me, asking me if I was alright. Nothing happened in Chicago. It all happened in New York. Your performance was a disaster and you can’t blame anyone else.

I thought of some resolutions for you. Some of them are “moments” you need to have in order to recover form this hysterical-blindness you apparently suffer from:

  1. Do: Part ways with Stella. She’s not a real manager. She wants celebrity for herself. She’s using you. Wake up.
  2. Moment: If your voice isn’t there anymore, then don’t try to lip-synch for your life. You’re not great at it. Ladyfriend, we will still love you. Edit the compositions and just do a good job using your instrument.
  3. Moment: Realize that you are one of the best-selling artists of all time. Mariah, you have a legacy. Is this really what you want it to end like? The way you behave is tarnishing it.
  4. Know her: stop it with the whole “I don’t know her” bullshit. You’re an adult. You know who they are. Are you best friends, no. Do you know who Jennifer Lopez is? Yes. I’m Real was supposed to be yours. Deal with those emotions (you got them feelins). Come to terms with Jennifer. You may not like her (you may H.A.T.E. her), but you know the woman and she’s right next door trying to take away your meal ticket and bitch has a bigger box office revenue than you. Update: JLO is not next door anymore. 
  5. Moment: You’re a diva. We get it. Don’t be so crass though. Don’t be so oblivious. I know you say you’re just playing into the persona; but Mariah, we love your talent, not just your persona.

This is all tough love, Mariah. I’ve got your back girl. I hope you take the advice.

Update: Tonight, December 31st, 2017, Mariah is serving up some #RedemptionRealness. She is revisiting the scene for round two, and word on the street is that the rehearsal went well. She has parted ways with Stella (took my advice) and has been working hard at keeping her brand healthy (All I Want For Christmas had its biggest year yet). Love you Mimi! 

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